Discovered how Bureacrats are reared

We have been making the social teas of late. Those lovely Christmas Teas and craft sales with the baked goods, the penny tables and raffles, raffles and more raffles. Truth be told my husband is the one leading the way. It seems there is a pipeline amongst the men in my community as to which Teas have the best "tool" - you know 'good stuff' draws.

The latest one we attended was the Cubscout and Beaver Tea. The price was right $3.00 each to get in with delicious baked breads (for the most part) and all you can drink half cups of coffee so the little ones don't spill themselves. The penny tables were full of gift certificates for Hardware, oil changes, pizza's, and pierogies - again 'the good stuff'. The handcrafts for sale were little birdhouses shaped like moose and toilet paper roll holders shaped like dogs and cats. Just all round kitch and cute.

My husband hankering for another 'half' cup of coffee also asked if he could get some more dessert breads and handed the young Beaver of Canada the plate and the little boy's response was priceless and telling.

Earnestly he looked at my husband with his big brown eyes, blue and and brown gilligan cap and said oh no Beavers don't clear the tables, Scouts clear tables. Let me get a scout. He scampers off and a scout shows up to whisk away the plate.

I guess they have to start them young but it reminded me of some of the silly workplace scenarios where you call one department and they say they don't do that - the logic is there that they 'should' do that but they have farmed that particular product or duty out. I guess preparing children at ages 5 to 7 for the realities of a globalized market is fair but do we really have to start them so young.

I wouldn't mind departmentalizing myself sometimes. Oh I am sorry, you would be wanting the chauffeur to drive you to the mall. What you need your favorite pair of jeans washed - well its the maids day off - its in her contract. Well the bus boy must be fired because these plates aren't going to walk from the table to the dishwasher by themselves. Interesting how you can be jack of all trades at home but departmentalized and jack shit help to the working public.

All kidding aside, get out there and support those social teas going on in your community. Taking a bead check on who was attending its not your grandmother's affair anymore with knit toilet paper cozies and pot holders. Its a young 30 to 50 something set, kids willing in tow - teenagers too grudgingly in all appearances but scarfing down the goodies all the same. The penny tables have your trashy Christmas knick knacks that you throw a few tickets in for a joke and win but they also have home appliances, tools, services. Its pretty great. If you do see some blue haired ladies there though, watch out because they are the pros of the teas. They have no problem scooting in front of you to plunk their tickets in and they seem to strategize just how many 'waves' of tickets to by. One sweet little thing in her early 80s said the trick was to buy tickets in three sets. Right at the beginning, in the middle and near the end just before the draw goes. It spreads the luck out. She walked away with the Home Hardware giftcertificates, Dinner for Two at The Keg and a nice toaster oven.

If life were only that simple.

Goodbye Santa

I still buy completely into the possibility that my 12 year old believes in Santa.

Yes its a little niave on my part but everyone plays along and it makes Christmas magical - but does she really believe.

Two years ago I knew for sure she believed in Santa Clause which for a 10 year old I had to pat myself on the back as a parent that I had been pretty slick at carrying on the illusion for that long. Years of making tracks from snow skis in the snow, nibbled carrots tossed in the front driveway of my parents, a vivid red and white ski sock left behind that Santa must have left by the fire to dry off, a torn piece of Santa's suit left in the upstairs firegrate. If you think about it Santa was pretty careless by the time he got to our place each year - must have been the rum spiced eggnogg.
As I said I knew for sure my daughter believed two years ago because we were sitting down to dinner three weeks before Christmas and she had brought her 'friend' A.B. along with her to warm up and have some soup since they had been building a snowboard jump all afternoon. Somehow Santa came up and A.B. states matter of factly "Oh there is no such thing as Santa. My parents buy the gifts and they play Santa." I wanted to quietly reach across the table and throttle the smug little puke but when I saw our Daughter's big eyes look at me for reassurance that his parents were nuts, he was daft... something I said what I had told my eldest years before and what my parents had told me....

"As long as you believe in Santa he will continue to come. Once the older kids in the house stop believing in the magic then yes parents have to continue along the illusion for that child so that cousins, younger siblings and friends continue to believe." A.B. said that was Bullshit. I told him to shut up. I'm usually such a nice mother but this kid was pissing me off.

That Christmas we took extra special effort to ensure Santa could land at my parents house. After landing on the roof this time (the logistics of skiing on a roof are not for the faint hearted), to raindeer poop (my Dad's dog went out on the deck, so we just added to the illusion), nibbled carrots, a boot print in the fireplace soot and a letter written in Santa's special text that thanked our Daughter for believing in the magic and importance of Christmas still. Family and sharing were the most important aspects. Children that no longer believed in him, which he was sad about but understood, could still carry on the magic of Christmas by doing good deeds for elderly neighbours and people living with less. She bought it.

There was no mention really last year and she's pretty quiet this year about it. If she 'believes' until she goes away to school that is just fine with me.

Accept you hot baldness

No the title is not leading into dirty strains.

I'm talking about men out there. Women find bald men hot. Women find men hiding or running from being bald and hot - NOT!




Take Brett Michaels. There was a lot of talk about what Brett was hiding under his hat this summer during his quest for "love" during VH1's Rock of Love.
Here is a gorgeous, and yes talented man who hides behind hats and bandana's. He's got the rocker look for sure. However he doesn't put it out there for all to see.

The burning question for many is.... 'Just what is under Brett's hat?"




I took this burning question and went to the NET, thanks to Google images, for my quest for alternatives to Brett's current look.


The swashbuckler's look doesn't just have to be for Captain Jack Sparrow. A bit of Color and well thats it. I think Brett or any aging HOT (yes hot but in need of help) rocker would appreciate the peacocking of beads to get the ladies attention. Just a thought but.... Do you think the members of Warrant now shake their heads in shame and shudder a little about "She's only 17..."


Just add a jaunty bandana and its off to the screaming crowds for autographs and beer (of which order is totally up to the aging rocker.)
I think Axel Rose would be more comfortable with this look but you know Brett could probably put him to shame. The nice thing about this little number is the hair and bandana come as a 'onsie' for easy application.


If the 70s pornstar, Welcome Back Carter, or Barney Miller look makes a come back the aging rockstar will be ready with this Borat influenced rendition. Pornstach can be grown for more authenticity.

Willie is busy helping out good pal Owen Wilson right now but he's always ready to help a farmer, so why not an aging rockstar. When (enter aging rockstar name here) is doing the single senior dwelling park club tours in a few years, he can keep his 'do' tidy with this ready made Golden locks a braided look. Thanks for taking that off my mind.






Joking aside. Bald is beautiful. If Brett does have something he's not sharing with the world that is his business. Women love him. The fans love him.

I just prefer this .....


















as hot.



Well,.....
.....there are some exceptions I guess.

Preparation for Rerun Hell

I'm sure the message boards are overloaded right now with network viewers lamenting the loss of current seasons of Ugly Betty, Men in Trees, Lost, Battlestar etc. I feel for them I really do. I support the wobblies right to strike but it also makes me have to decide what I'm going to do to entertain myself as the dark days of November creep onward into Christmas reruns of Charlie Brown and A Christmas Story - which is totally cool.

Will Reality shows stay on? Will more planned for later this year get moved in early and bump out strongholds such as House, Chuck and CSI? Do we care?

At the mention of the writers strike et al, I didn't really pay too much concern. I wasn't going to be attending a broadway show but then it hit this morning when checking my hotmail, Greys Anatomy and Lost aren't producing anymore shows until the strike is over... oh no! What will people do.

Families might actually have to buy more boardgames to have family game night more often - what a tragedy... Video rentals will shoot through the roof, TIVO will get stocked up, downloading shows from across the pond or across the border (bless the CBC) may pick up. Books might get opened. Chaos will ensue. Spouses might realize they like each other afterall.

Could the writers be taking a chance? Remember the NHL lockout? Did anyone care except for the owners and the players. An entire season went by and people survived and found other things to do. I quite enjoyed the Movie Night in Canada over Hockey Night in Canada. Maybe the networks will dig out some good old shows out of the vault to play other than Seinfeld and Law and Order. With the variety of things to do online will the writers have some leverage? I support them, really I do. Sometimes when you are getting the shaft collectively you just have to stand up and say "I'm pissed off and I'm not taking it anymore...." um cudos to the writer who came up with that amazing line. Support your writers. Even if you don't care because you are a reality junkie or knee deep in naked elves in Warcraft (I have no idea if there are elves in Warcraft - just a guess) give the networks a nudge. Without public pressure for networks to get back to the bargaining table - we could be stuck with Gilligan.

For now:

Dust off your boardgames
Renew your library membership (they have seasons of shows you haven't watched in dvd)
or omg... go outside and play.

Or better write a blog or an email instead of pressing FW: all the time.

Cheers for now.

Blog Virgin

I've been meaning to do this for ages. I've been lurking on other blogs or brilliantly summarizing something hilarious (to me) while drawing up spreadsheets but somehow always had an excuse ready as to why I'm not writing...

You know those ones - I'm tired; I'm at work and not in IT (a dig to my husband); the kids need something done; the house needs enter 'x,y, or z'; I'm tired; I'm facebooking (thats right add ing to anything and its a verb); I'm...

Well you can see in a nutshell I've broken the blog cherry today. Its just a matter of how often will those excuses win.

Its going to take a bit to figure out the quirks of this page. It has been ages since I've used HTML format (is that still used???), but I'm game to start. For years I had another love on the web and it sits idle mainly because it got boring for me. Other interests cropped up like learning how to crochet funny shapped blankets and hit and miss gardening in Northern Ontario. If you are interested in looking up some old 80s lyrics feel free to google my old website zelsparkbench or Zels80s lyrics because I can't even remember the exact address and I'm afraid if I go look it up I'll get side tracked and this blog will not get posted :)

Anywho, I warn you now people say I write like I talk. I'm not a grammatical genius and this isn't the page for inspiring prose but I do promise my brand of humour, my quirks and faults laid bare for all to see. Rlhcopper is ready to be exposed.