Supersize this, downsize me.

Well we are heading into month 5 of the exciting world of downsizing.

Its really starting to grind my gears. Its like that dating show The Bachelor. I would never degrade myself on television or for a man to pick me but the scenario is the same. It seems like there have been several mini dates for the Bachelor - The Director of Talent Management - to get to know some of the different personalities of the organization that he effects. He's been going around the country with his wingmen having mini dates with Managers and Administrators so that he can get a feel for what is the best relationship for the organization.

I've always been the type of person that hey "don't waste my time" if you like me we can click but if we don't gel I'm gone. I'm not a patient person when it comes to my life. I have my pension tied up in this place and 12 years of my time. I've given up playtime and sleep to make my part of the deal hmm along smoothly. Now its a trial cooling off period to see if we still like each other....

Basically I've been in limbo for almost 5 months. I don't even know if I should replace my BBQ right now because they are telling us its 'weeks' now to the big ROSE ceremony. Weeks could still mean months. There are 52 weeks in a year after all. At least there will be no more suffering of the don't ask specific questions we can only give you general answers teleconferences. Those I can gladly do without. So pal never mind the Rose ceremony, just call me up and say its over. I can save the gas money commuting to work. I'm pissed I don't know about my BBQ because I really really like Steak, its up there with cake.

The sad thing is I really believe in what our organization does and I see why we need to streamline and restructure. I feel I play a valuable part in the day to day operations but who knows what the Grand Pubah thinks behind that giant curtain of smoke and mirrors.

Well until I know what is to be my future I am open to suggestions for a career change. I've been mulling over a few ideas myself. I'll save that for another post though.

Kudo's to The Plug

I just have to give a shout out to fellow blogger The Plug for performing a truly cool social experiment. This Blogger left a camera tied to a park bench and left a note asking people to take some random pictures. The result is very cool and I am actually surprised that people were decent. I was expecting some pretty obscure things but it was nice smiley people, dogs, storefronts. The coolest thing is The Plug was able to get back the camera and share the results with the rest of the Blog world.

I hope someone takes this social experiment a little further. Why not leave a disposable camera in some more obscure places. An aisle at the supermarket, at a known teen hangout, a back alley. Hopefully the plug does some more.

Kudos to those who participated too. It must have been a nice place because the way my mind bends these days I was expecting some down the pants action... but then those 1 hour film places don't really like to develop those either.

Hats off to Brett Michaels

A while back I wrote a little snippit entitled Accept Your Hot Baldness
I was inspired by Brett Michaels after getting sucked into his little VH-1 show Rock of Love. It was summer, Big Brother was over, and again I think he is hot.

It drove me absolutely nuts though that he would never wear his hair without a bandana, ballcap or cowboy hat. I started to think the poor man was hiding a deep insecurity about his possible balding issues and wanted to make it very clear that being bald for a man is HOT.

Well much to my surprise, there was a season 2 of Rock of Love - Poor Brett didn't find his Rock Diva so back to the drawing board. I watched this time to see again if he would go au natural.

Sure enough he did. In the meet the folks episode he came out without any accessories for his beautiful head and he looked... awesome. So Brett... I doubt you will ever read this but I did think maybe you were bald and thought you should come out and be a very HOT Bald Brett Michaels. Sorry for that. Although I did have fun finding some alternative looks - I gotta admit that.

You are just a gorgeous rockstar any way you are. Keep those soulful ballads coming.

Cheers to Not Baldness

Signs your Mom might be becoming a 'Desperate Housewife'

So your Dad is a contractor and your mom is a busy stay at home woman about the house kinda girl.

After a few years of blissfully thinking your mom is full filled with well, you... you discover that somethings just aren't adding up.

Company is stopping by today and your mom has been up all night assembling cinder block sugar cubes.


Your bitchin' electronic drum set suddenly has acquired a set of lovely colour coded cozies.


To make matters worse the entire kitchen has been outfitted with cozies.


You might be starting to think your mother needs more than you and the house as a hobby.

I have a good suggestion but wait... if you don't believe me here is some more evidence.



She makes her own swifer because she can do it so much better and cheaper.



Not convinced yet....

This is a little replica of what she has planned for your prom after party theme.


Do the right thing.....





Tell your mother to have an affair - the sooner the better.

Oompah Loompah wannabe's

I've seen a trend of late out in blog land in on flickr.

It is prom season. Kids are all about their dresses, tuxes, hair, shoes and definitely not about looking pale.

I can only think that some prom preparers and celebrity wannabe's are taking their look from the little Oompah Loompah's from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Johnny Depp version.

Whats a kid to do when celebrities are the first to fall under the Orange one's spell.


Why why why... Tom Jones?


And if the sex bomb is glowing the Donald can't loose face now can he?

So those are the role models for grown men. See what is happening. Its becoming soilent orange.

Senator Kerry.... guilty in tangelino


Where men go the boys are sure to follow.



The women aren't off the hook either.

The other Donald or rather, Donnatella is a trend setter for big purses, big money and sadly big lips it appears. The Orangenista is setting the trend for fake.




Karina Schmirnoff, Dancing of the Stars et. al. Have all dipped in the same vat of over done Orange this spring.


So here are the poor unsuspecting victims of this years prom preparedness:











Honorable Mentions:

Next time use Clarins its a kinder gentler orange and does not streak.

Poor kid.





At least we are no longer baking ourselves in the sun. There is an addiction and its no laughing matter.


Its called tanning dependence and the body gets hooked on IV rays from the sun much like an addict would get their fix from a shot of alcohol or a line of cocaine.


So if you gotta be orange... get it from a bottle... of bronzer.

People will pay anything for art

I swear I could make a mint off my kids school art work.

I am surfing the web and come across this in a folk art gallery. They wanted $125 dollars for this. Canadian...American same difference right now.

If an adult drew this cudo's to them for making some sucker pay for this. If you want something similar for your walls spend a $125 dollars on art supplies and donate this to a first grade class. You will get a far better quality and variety plus the $125 dollars will be put to good use.

I support art, I am not an artist, my renderings are stick figures and not much more. However I think in a pinch the artist borrowed their child's class assignment. "Draw what you did this weekend."

Timmy inspired by a road trip to the pettying zoo with Mummy and Daddy drew furiously with red and green but didn't have lots of black so used a number 2 pencil instead to draw mummy and daddy.
I'm partial to the 'chickens??" in the right bottom corner.

blah blah

smoking in the girls room

I am a smoker, I'm not proud of it but there you go.

I was thinking back to the days in high school before homeroom bell would go off. Its 845 and the girls washroom is a blue haze. Teachers rarely entered choosing to pick their battles. Green and purple eyeshadow was reapplied for the 4th time since leaving home that morning, bonnie bell lip gloss swirled on, cigarettes passed back and forth between co-conspirators against the man. Yes it was against the rules, yeah it was a perfectly sunny day with several smoking locations on site but... this one happened to have a mirror and it was the 80s. We were smoking in the girls room.

On any given break on any given day there were at least 50 girls in the bathroom sharing smokes, touching up gloss, hair and purple mascara (again this was the 80s). You were never alone.

Now... there are 3 of us left at work who smoke. We go outside, not daring to break the rules because since there are only 3 of us its easier to point the finger as to who did it. Now the city has passed a law you can't stand near a business doorway. So along the streets in our cold northern ontario town you will see people clustered in 2's and 3's sharing a smoke and warmth. We still know everything thats going on in the building. If you are out of the loop ask a smoker.