I think this is the worst offender so far.
the most irritating thing of late is that we have found this lovely little eatery in my neighborhood that makes great food, great atmosphere and its easy on the pocket book. What I don't like is paying to hear this one woman who sits wayyyyyyyy over on the other side of the restaurant talking to some person at the next table. She has one level of intonation - loud. We all get to hear her share what she and Joe did that day in painful detail.
We now have made a habit of walking into the restaurant, taken a look around to make sure said loud lady is not in residence and if she is we leave. I've been tempted to give my cellphone number to the nice server there to call us when the lady leaves.
Some people are loud occasionally and thats okay. Loud talkers that are in love with themselves and their voices need to experience some time out in public places.
Why can't I just go up to her and ask her to "shut the F!!! up" nicely of course.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
More signs your Mom is becoming a Desperate Housewife #3
Back again for another monthly chuckle at that Crafty Desperate Housewife.
If you haven't read the posts before, here are some signs that your Mother might be on her way to becoming a Desperate Housewife.
You bring your new sweetheart home after school to do a little light studying in the dining room. You walk in expecting quiet tranquility only to discover while you have been at school all day, mom has been busy on yet another one of her 'recycle' projects.
She excitedly shows your sweetie how the milk jugs have been converted to light up the room adding ambiance or for some a need for the other milk. Milk of magnesia.
You decide to raid the fridge for a few necessary snacks while studying.
Mom has been busy again raiding the neighbourhood recycling bins to make these magnet gems. Groceries are usually found on the 'inside' of the fridge but not in your house.
In trying to foster a little togetherness with your Dad, mom has created something special to attend the guns and ammo show at the exhibition Centre this week.
Her own machine gun annie version purse complete with a slot for the cellphone where the ammo catridge should go. (I think).
To surprise Dad this year for Christmas, Mom pulled out all the stops. She's been working hard on his snowmobile helmet. Its only June but its never too early to start getting into the swing of Christmas when you are becoming an ever more desperate housewife.
Dad is going to be speechless about the changes to his helmet.
If the above evidence hasn't been enough to convince you of your mom's looming condition.
She's started cozi'ng the neighbourhood.
Desperation is not far off now.
Do not pass go, do not collect $200.00. Instead call a strippergram for your mom.... NOW!
If you haven't read the posts before, here are some signs that your Mother might be on her way to becoming a Desperate Housewife.
You bring your new sweetheart home after school to do a little light studying in the dining room. You walk in expecting quiet tranquility only to discover while you have been at school all day, mom has been busy on yet another one of her 'recycle' projects.
She excitedly shows your sweetie how the milk jugs have been converted to light up the room adding ambiance or for some a need for the other milk. Milk of magnesia.
You decide to raid the fridge for a few necessary snacks while studying.Mom has been busy again raiding the neighbourhood recycling bins to make these magnet gems. Groceries are usually found on the 'inside' of the fridge but not in your house.
In trying to foster a little togetherness with your Dad, mom has created something special to attend the guns and ammo show at the exhibition Centre this week.Her own machine gun annie version purse complete with a slot for the cellphone where the ammo catridge should go. (I think).
To surprise Dad this year for Christmas, Mom pulled out all the stops. She's been working hard on his snowmobile helmet. Its only June but its never too early to start getting into the swing of Christmas when you are becoming an ever more desperate housewife.
Dad is going to be speechless about the changes to his helmet.
If the above evidence hasn't been enough to convince you of your mom's looming condition.
She's started cozi'ng the neighbourhood.
Desperation is not far off now.
Do not pass go, do not collect $200.00. Instead call a strippergram for your mom.... NOW!
Friday, June 20, 2008
Things that Grind my gears #5
Well today.... what really grinds my gears is going to a web page and there is a big flashy message telling me two of my contacts have a crush on me.
First of all I get quickly psyched. Yes I momentarily fall for it... just a little...
It makes me curious... well who might have a crush one me??? Hello I've been married for 15 years who cares right... well for the ego its kinda cool.
Of course its an add not directed at me but for one millisecond I kinda want to push that button.
So lets say this certain page does know its me coming to look up spools of thread (boy they are better than Kresgin) and they just happen to know that a certain someone has been Blogging in Draft how much they ache to tell me they are so into 'me'.
Do I really want to know? What if its my best friend opposite sex. That would make for some tense uncomfortable times the next time we see each other. Hey there Bob the reason your my best friend and not my lover is because well... you just don't do it for me that way. Even worse would be my friend of my own gender. I have no problem with people's sexuality but for how much I don't want to have naughty thoughts about the platonic men in my life, its 10 times more to the extreme that I don't want to have those thoughts about my girls.
One of these days I'll press that button though, I'll be fed up and just go to the link. Kill the curiosity for once and for all.
Still for the Ego - its nice to know even for a millisecond that maybe someone likes me... I mean they really REALLY like me.
Cheers
First of all I get quickly psyched. Yes I momentarily fall for it... just a little...
It makes me curious... well who might have a crush one me??? Hello I've been married for 15 years who cares right... well for the ego its kinda cool.
Of course its an add not directed at me but for one millisecond I kinda want to push that button.
So lets say this certain page does know its me coming to look up spools of thread (boy they are better than Kresgin) and they just happen to know that a certain someone has been Blogging in Draft how much they ache to tell me they are so into 'me'.
Do I really want to know? What if its my best friend opposite sex. That would make for some tense uncomfortable times the next time we see each other. Hey there Bob the reason your my best friend and not my lover is because well... you just don't do it for me that way. Even worse would be my friend of my own gender. I have no problem with people's sexuality but for how much I don't want to have naughty thoughts about the platonic men in my life, its 10 times more to the extreme that I don't want to have those thoughts about my girls.
One of these days I'll press that button though, I'll be fed up and just go to the link. Kill the curiosity for once and for all.
Still for the Ego - its nice to know even for a millisecond that maybe someone likes me... I mean they really REALLY like me.
Cheers
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Fangs alot sis
A while ago I had posted a story about my lovely sister Fang. Although there was a huge age difference between us as children we both are grown adults now with kids of our own and get some laughs out of the old days. Water under the bridge and fodder for the Blog.
Recap - Fang was a tattle tale, tag along young sister who always seemed to be getting her self into situations by messing with me at the wrong place and time.
Why do I call her Fang. From about the age of 5 she started to develop these lovely pearly white incisors that hung a little bit over her lip. She had a bit of an overbit that was later corrected with expensive dentistry to create the most beautiful smile but at the time in my impatience with her and the need to label she was simply Fang. I knew she hated it and it was delicious.
For the record I have and still do HATE dolls. They creep me way out with their beedy little blinky eyes and the way the follow you with their eyes no matter where you are in the room. This is before Chucky but chills go up my spine none the less.
For Christmas one year my sister got a Cabbage Patch Doll. This thing is ugly as sin but as Bloggers and readers may well remember the need to get a Cabbage Patch Doll created riots among perfectly nice housewifes and also a Toy Black Market for the little creatures. If you were lucky enough to have had a loved one beat off a kindly Grandma to get you that doll, you were one of the lucky ones. Many kids went without little adoption papers that Christmas. My mom and Aunt must have had a game plan and wore protective equipment to get ...ugh.... Katie at Stedmans.
Katie made her debut Christmas morning at the same time I was unwrapping my prized Back in Black AC/DC album. I could care less about her crappy doll. Ugh another one oh well lets play this little treasure and watch the parents faces. I still remember that scratchy needle sound just before the church bells started to ding. I think my mother might have said oh choir music how lovely before her jaw dropped to Hells Bells. Priceless. Okay back to Katie.
This thing had brown yarn hair and an overbite that far surpassed Fangs. No teeth showing though. The difference between all the other dolls and this one though is that Katie developed a personality. She "talked" through my sister in a really whiny snitty voice. And Katie.... like to talk to Auntie RLHCopper... a Lot.
I put up with that little demon spawn all winter.... all spring.... all summer in the boat and at the cottage.... but ....somewhere on the Interstate I75 on the way to Florida that late Fall I had had enough of Katie yapping on and on about 'anything' in that voice.
I don't know how my parents tolerated that 'talking' doll at that time and to this day I think they secretly thanked me for what I did next.
Katie kept talking to me. She kept nudging over on to my side of the car. That little arm rest that went down in our 77 Tornado was supposed to be a clear dividing line about space but no - Katie did not have space issues. She created space issues. Very calmly and I think this might have been Tennessee or Kentucky because we were in the mountains, I started to press the button to bring the window down. It was locked.
Dad can you give me some air... I feel sick. Dad who was used to me feeling and ... getting sick was quick to unlock the power windows from the front and let me bring the window down.
In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Houston we have lift off... I grabbed Katie from my sister and threw her out of the window in a beautiful arch that landed her right in the meridian of 8 lane traffic. It was worth the punishment I got. It was delicious in those moments to watch Katie fly across traffic, doging cars and trucks and my sister was....silent.
That my friend is American Beauty - not a shopping bag in floating on air current. Nope its an ugly talking Cabbage Patch Doll going for her first flight.
Dad pulled over and my poor mother had to dodge traffic to get Katie back. Katie however did not come back into the car. Instead she went into the trunk. Katie was only allowed out at bedtime and she had to be quiet.
I lost my Walkman.... oh well. I lost my soap opera privlidges -oh well I found out from Friends about Roman and Marlena's wedding (the first one back in 1982 or so.... I had beach time,,,, and no Katie.
Recap - Fang was a tattle tale, tag along young sister who always seemed to be getting her self into situations by messing with me at the wrong place and time.
Why do I call her Fang. From about the age of 5 she started to develop these lovely pearly white incisors that hung a little bit over her lip. She had a bit of an overbit that was later corrected with expensive dentistry to create the most beautiful smile but at the time in my impatience with her and the need to label she was simply Fang. I knew she hated it and it was delicious.
For the record I have and still do HATE dolls. They creep me way out with their beedy little blinky eyes and the way the follow you with their eyes no matter where you are in the room. This is before Chucky but chills go up my spine none the less.
For Christmas one year my sister got a Cabbage Patch Doll. This thing is ugly as sin but as Bloggers and readers may well remember the need to get a Cabbage Patch Doll created riots among perfectly nice housewifes and also a Toy Black Market for the little creatures. If you were lucky enough to have had a loved one beat off a kindly Grandma to get you that doll, you were one of the lucky ones. Many kids went without little adoption papers that Christmas. My mom and Aunt must have had a game plan and wore protective equipment to get ...ugh.... Katie at Stedmans.
Katie made her debut Christmas morning at the same time I was unwrapping my prized Back in Black AC/DC album. I could care less about her crappy doll. Ugh another one oh well lets play this little treasure and watch the parents faces. I still remember that scratchy needle sound just before the church bells started to ding. I think my mother might have said oh choir music how lovely before her jaw dropped to Hells Bells. Priceless. Okay back to Katie.
This thing had brown yarn hair and an overbite that far surpassed Fangs. No teeth showing though. The difference between all the other dolls and this one though is that Katie developed a personality. She "talked" through my sister in a really whiny snitty voice. And Katie.... like to talk to Auntie RLHCopper... a Lot.
I put up with that little demon spawn all winter.... all spring.... all summer in the boat and at the cottage.... but ....somewhere on the Interstate I75 on the way to Florida that late Fall I had had enough of Katie yapping on and on about 'anything' in that voice.
I don't know how my parents tolerated that 'talking' doll at that time and to this day I think they secretly thanked me for what I did next.
Katie kept talking to me. She kept nudging over on to my side of the car. That little arm rest that went down in our 77 Tornado was supposed to be a clear dividing line about space but no - Katie did not have space issues. She created space issues. Very calmly and I think this might have been Tennessee or Kentucky because we were in the mountains, I started to press the button to bring the window down. It was locked.
Dad can you give me some air... I feel sick. Dad who was used to me feeling and ... getting sick was quick to unlock the power windows from the front and let me bring the window down.
In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Houston we have lift off... I grabbed Katie from my sister and threw her out of the window in a beautiful arch that landed her right in the meridian of 8 lane traffic. It was worth the punishment I got. It was delicious in those moments to watch Katie fly across traffic, doging cars and trucks and my sister was....silent.
That my friend is American Beauty - not a shopping bag in floating on air current. Nope its an ugly talking Cabbage Patch Doll going for her first flight.
Dad pulled over and my poor mother had to dodge traffic to get Katie back. Katie however did not come back into the car. Instead she went into the trunk. Katie was only allowed out at bedtime and she had to be quiet.
I lost my Walkman.... oh well. I lost my soap opera privlidges -oh well I found out from Friends about Roman and Marlena's wedding (the first one back in 1982 or so.... I had beach time,,,, and no Katie.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Things that Grind my gears #4
Line hoppers really make me steam.
Its that sense of entitlement that I think gets me completely. I think most people have been in a line at a store and just chuckle if a small child jumps to the front of the que. They have no concept for waiting their turn.
Some people never do learn to wait their turn.
There are two parties in this group that will create a tight grimace on my face. The people that walk in the middle of two defined lines and walk right up to the cashier to have their order taken. I have been pleased more then once when an aware attendant has sent that person packing to the back of the line but for the most part this does not happen.
The other party that should get the big boot to the ass though is the co-conspirator. We've all been here. We have so many minutes to dash out grab a quick coffee and get back to our desk. Some schlub in front of you suddenly see's their friend walk into the store and waves them over. Hey bud in behind me, its totally cool or... what are you ordering I'll get it for you. We've all seen it and maybe we've all been guilty of this but come on... we all had to wait our turn... what makes Dude so special?
Why am I talking about this today... well this very situation happened only "Dude" had a list from his co-workers of 15 coffee's.
I think I might re-join the coffee club at work. So some people make tea coloured coffee and others can strip paint with theirs... its probably better for my blood pressure.
Its that sense of entitlement that I think gets me completely. I think most people have been in a line at a store and just chuckle if a small child jumps to the front of the que. They have no concept for waiting their turn.
Some people never do learn to wait their turn.
There are two parties in this group that will create a tight grimace on my face. The people that walk in the middle of two defined lines and walk right up to the cashier to have their order taken. I have been pleased more then once when an aware attendant has sent that person packing to the back of the line but for the most part this does not happen.
The other party that should get the big boot to the ass though is the co-conspirator. We've all been here. We have so many minutes to dash out grab a quick coffee and get back to our desk. Some schlub in front of you suddenly see's their friend walk into the store and waves them over. Hey bud in behind me, its totally cool or... what are you ordering I'll get it for you. We've all seen it and maybe we've all been guilty of this but come on... we all had to wait our turn... what makes Dude so special?
Why am I talking about this today... well this very situation happened only "Dude" had a list from his co-workers of 15 coffee's.
I think I might re-join the coffee club at work. So some people make tea coloured coffee and others can strip paint with theirs... its probably better for my blood pressure.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Things that Grind my gears #3
The next person who jams the photocopier and then walks away leaving a big mess is going to get hurt real bad... in my mind anyways.
I have to ask... why do people do this. You jam it, you follow the pictures, pull out the paper from said doors and viola you are back in business.
What is going to happen when the day comes and the "someone else can fix it" person doesn't come to work.
Oh my god the day is over. Work will stop, people will hover in the halls looking off in the distance for that person to come but never making contact with another because that would mean co-ownership.
I think these people are the same people that had their mom's clean their room. Part of them is still a slack ass teenager at heart.
I have to ask... why do people do this. You jam it, you follow the pictures, pull out the paper from said doors and viola you are back in business.
What is going to happen when the day comes and the "someone else can fix it" person doesn't come to work.
Oh my god the day is over. Work will stop, people will hover in the halls looking off in the distance for that person to come but never making contact with another because that would mean co-ownership.
I think these people are the same people that had their mom's clean their room. Part of them is still a slack ass teenager at heart.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Things that Grind my gears #2
Again with the work theme:
Time suckers... part duh.
There is a lovely young lady at work that is totally in love with her little girl. Trust me, EVERYONE knows about this because that is ALL we hear.
I have a great rapport with my co-workers and we talk about a wide range of topics throughout the day... while still doing our work.
This little lady doesn't start work by booting up her computer, oh no that would be 'productive'. This little lady comes in at 815 everymorning and shares the cutest thing her daughter did with at least 3 different offices...
I like the girl don't get me wrong. I also like kids. This gear grinding thing is possibly making me out to be a kurmudgeon but seriously can't people work and share??? My time is extremely valuable and I try to maximize every minute I have.
Stopping to talk to you about the same thing everyday... really grinds my gears. If you stopped me to discuss the price at the pumps or some jack off cut you off you'd have my ears. To hear that precious blew bubbles even bigger then yesterday... that news you should save for her Grandma.
Time suckers... part duh.
There is a lovely young lady at work that is totally in love with her little girl. Trust me, EVERYONE knows about this because that is ALL we hear.
I have a great rapport with my co-workers and we talk about a wide range of topics throughout the day... while still doing our work.
This little lady doesn't start work by booting up her computer, oh no that would be 'productive'. This little lady comes in at 815 everymorning and shares the cutest thing her daughter did with at least 3 different offices...
I like the girl don't get me wrong. I also like kids. This gear grinding thing is possibly making me out to be a kurmudgeon but seriously can't people work and share??? My time is extremely valuable and I try to maximize every minute I have.
Stopping to talk to you about the same thing everyday... really grinds my gears. If you stopped me to discuss the price at the pumps or some jack off cut you off you'd have my ears. To hear that precious blew bubbles even bigger then yesterday... that news you should save for her Grandma.
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